Addicted to you my love

I had seen in movies where a girl cries when her guy suffers in pain. It looked too dramatic and silly at that time until it happened with me. When I was suffering from severe tooth ache due to abscess I saw tears dropping off her eyes. I saw the uneasy feeling in her. I never ever thought
a girl would love me so crazily. I was a narcissist. But she defeated me by loving me more than I do. She found a special reason to love me in each and every single thing I do even though there was nothing special in me. I was a dumbass. I didn't know how to love her, I didn't know to kiss her, I never understood her even though I tried to understand but failed every single time. All I did was just kept dreaming of how lucky I am to get a pretty girl like her. Passionately am in love with her.

I wanted to give her all the happiness that exits in the world, wanted to see her cry but in joy when I would give her never ending surprises. Damn.. Never ever did this happened. All I gave her was pain. Made her cry and suffer. Thought for months and months how to surprise her but when she stood right in front of me, I hurt her again. Tears flowing off her eyes was common. I repent for every tear that she shed but what's the use. She just think that I never ever give a fuck to her tears. But she never left by my side. I know that no one will love me like she does. Never she doubted on me. When i literally begged others to love me, she showered ocean full of love on me.

I do love her like no one can. But always I fail to express her. Has this inability to express my love to her been the reason for sorrow in our relationship? A girl needs to be loved and cared more than anything else. But when she doesn't get it she may start thinking that her guy has taken her for granted. She thought I don't give a fuck to her. But the reality is that how much ever fucked up I may be, she doesn't go off my mind. She loiters in my mind every damn second. I want to be so close to her that I can hear her heart beating.

I had carved on my heart and soul that she is my princess but I forgot her to treat like a princess. I hope she knows that even if am torn into pieces ,her name won't be vanished from my heart.

I never said her that she is that one angel who always come in my dream. I never said her that am addicted to her. This addiction can never be removed off my body even if am admitted to a rehabilitation centre. Did I do a mistake by not expressing myself to her from the moment I started loving her? She never knew that I always wanted to hold her hand and walk front of my friends in pride. I wanted to say them that look at my dream girl. Look how beautiful she is. Look how lucky I am. But I have fucked every damn situation when she was with me.
Is it too late? Due to my so called ignoring attitude have I lost her? Adding to the misery, yesterday she told me that never ever contact me until i find a girl better than her and be happy with her. She said me that I never valued the love and care she gave to me. And my behaviour showed that her care was nothing to me. So she wanted me to find someone better than her. Baby do you seriously think the love which you showed wasn't sufficient? I enjoyed every drop of your love.

Not a day after she said this, I have found a girl who care and love me like anything and that was she again. I dnt know if she gives me a chance or no but she is the one whom I love and will love forever. Will she dump me for my mistakes which I didn't intend to commit? Will I be lucky enough to be forgiven?

Girl, committing mistakes is human nature and commiting mistakes again and again is the nature of super humans. So do you wanna loose this super human from your life? Don't wanna experience the ecstacy with me? I'll say you a sentence and rest is left to you to decide. And that sentence is "I LOVE YOU".